Habits for a Happy Husband » Habits for a Happy Home

Everyday Love

Sep 182012

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

1 Corinthians 13 is sometimes referred to as the “Love Chapter” of the Bible. It is used in weddings, we read it on St. Valentines Day, and when we celebrate anniversaries. Have you ever thought to study this chapter in your everyday life and not just at those special days?

My pastor recently preached a sermon on this very topic and it challenged me to look deeper at God’s definition of love and how I translate it to my everyday relationships.

I first asked myself, “Who have you told you love lately?” My husband, my boys, my family, my friends? The answer, “Yes, sometimes, but am I showing them love the way God shows me?” Sometimes our words aren’t enough and we have show our love in actions as God shows us.

When studying 1 Corinthians 13 and our relationships, our first instinct is to look at the ”what love is” part. What God tells us to do seems pretty simple. Love is…

patient
kind
rejoicing in the truth
bearing all
believing
hoping
enduring

Most of us strive to be all of these things in our relationships and can easily measure how we demonstrate these traits of love. These are the obvious ways to show love. If we want to show love in the way that God teaches us to love, we must look at the whole picture.

What about the “does not” and “is not” parts of this chapter, what we are told not to do? These are the things we sometimes fail to evaluate in our lives. These are the things that are more difficult for us to identify and improve.

Love…

does not envy
does not parade itself
is not puffed up (proud)
does not behave rudely
does not seek its own (selfish)
is not provoked (easily angered)
thinks no evil
does not rejoice in iniquity (does not keep a record)

Take a look at the relationships in your life and decide if any of these are present. If so, work on these areas and your relationships will improve. My prayer is to have a marriage without a record of wrongdoings, a relationship with my children that does not anger easily, and a friendship without jealousy.

The thing about love is…”If you have it, you don’t need anything else. If you don’t have it, nothing else matters.” -unknown

Today I challenge you to look at the relationships in your life and see if you are showing love the way God intends or are you just going through the motions?

~ by Heidi of Heidi’s Miscellany

Stepping Away From the Habit of the Internet

Habits for a Happy Dad, Habits for a Happy Husband, Habits for a Happy Mom, Habits for a Happy Wife, Habits for life 5 Responses »

Jul 122012

During the first week of June, my husband and I went on our first vacation in four years and we went without the kids—except for Posey, the Chihuahua. We went to a remote place called Cedar Key, Florida, which has only 1,000 year-round residents. It’s a clamming and fishing town which makes half of its income on tourism.

One of the first things I asked the realtor was if the condo had Internet. I already knew I would not have phone service except texting because MetroPCS does not go all the way to the tip of this tiny place. Since my in-laws were going to be in New England on their 50^th anniversary trip, our daughter lives out on her own now, and our son was going to be away playing bass guitar for a youth camp, I wanted to make sure that we at least had Internet reception so someone could contact us in the event of an emergency. She assured us there was Internet.

We arrived at our secluded condo with the gorgeous view of Daughtry Bayou, a fisherman’s dream. We were just in time for the beautiful sunset, which Cedar Key is known for. After dinner, we went back to the condo and crashed. Having resisted the urge long enough, I turned on my laptop to check emails and Facebook—only to find that there was no Internet connection!

At first, I panicked. What if someone needed us? What if we needed to upload a photo of a giant fish Dan caught? What if, what if, what if?

We went to town the following morning and discovered that there were several places with WIFI. Even the library had free Internet. The lady at the visitor’s center told me she’d be closed the next day but I was welcome to sit on her porch and use the Internet.

As tempting as all of that was, there was a little voice inside me telling me it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I didn’t connect to the Internet for a week. I had a stack of books to read and a manuscript to edit and a husband to watch from the patio as he fished on our private pier. However, I still couldn’t help trying one more time to get connected. I tried different spots around the condo and finally discovered a network while sitting on the narrow front porch in the doorway with my laptop plugged up to the wall outlet beside the sink (my battery is dead). After an hour of trying to connect, I gave up.

By the next day, I didn’t even want to know what was going on in cyberspace. I was enjoying kicking back on the patio, watching Dan blow away in the wind, and trying to edit (it was hard to do because I kept staring at the ocean and drooling). Seriously, Dan lost his favorite hat because it was so windy that day.

I got very little accomplished that week—except for a lot of ice cream eating and resting. And watching dolphins and birds. And laughing and reconnecting with Dan. And letting my cares blow out to sea. Man, it was a great week that probably wouldn’t have happened if I had been able to stay connected. God forced allowed that to happen to bring my thoughts back into focus.

Now that I am home and glad to have my 1,300 emails and umpteen Facebook and Twitter notifications read, I’m going to make a new habit. A habit of breaking the habit of the Internet. I don’t know if I’ll completely refrain for an entire day but I have already begun to close the email and the webpage and focus on more productive things. I encourage you to try it too!

~Written by Sherri

Surviving Life with Boys: Creating a Sanctuary

Habits for a Happy Husband, Habits for a Happy Wife, Housekeeping Habits 6 Responses »

Jul 052012

All of the things I have shared have definitely helped to tone down the chaos in our home. But the reality is that it is not possible for my house to be as quiet and clean as I would like. Even if I spent every minute of the day cleaning, people live here. Precious boys and their pets live here. And you can see the evidence of it everywhere you look! But for my own sanity, I needed one space that was clean. One space that I could go to escape the clutter and the noise and the toys and the pets.

A couple months ago I mentioned that I was working on a master bedroom makeover with several ideas I found on Pinterest. I decided to do it as a surprise for my husband. He works from home in our bedroom twice a week and I knew the chaos and clutter were getting to him too. I tried to keep everything a secret over several months. I worked on the projects during the times he was out of town and I put it all together one day while he was at work. I went as all out as I could on our budget. Even bought a new (used) canopy bed on Craigslist.

Now it is complete, and like so many other parts of our family life, it has rules. No clutter allowed. No rowdying allowed. No toys allowed. Quiet, calm, still boys with no toys are absolutely welcome. In fact, our bedroom is the only room in our house with a VCR, so we occasionally have a family night with all of us snuggling under that canopy watching some of our old Veggie Tales & Thomas the Tank Engine videos.

Don’t have room in the budget for a makeover? No problem! Just instituting a few of these boundaries will go a long way toward creating a sanctuary in your home. And most of the Pinterest projects were fairly cheap. One of the cheapest & easiest things I did that really makes our bedroom my favorite place in the house was filling every surface in the room with pictures of us and places we’ve been. Old and new. Years of memories pulled out of a box and tucked in frames.

The last thing that really helps to make it a sanctuary is keeping it clean. I know that I can’t possibly keep the whole house as clean as I would like. But I can handle one room! The bed is made first thing every morning. I dust at least once a week (if only that room) and keep it vacuumed and clutter-free.

So summer is here and school is out. Now is the perfect time to create a sanctuary of your own!

Surviving Life with Boys Series:

~ By Kendra, Frogs, Snails and Puppy Dog Tales

10 Tips for Staying Happily Married

Habits for a Happy Husband, Habits for a Happy Wife 5 Responses »

Jul 032012

Last weekend, Brian and I celebrated our 22nd anniversary. I can hardly believe it’s been that long since the day we said “I do.” We have come a long way since then and rarely have we sailed along without any trouble at all. Yet we’re still a couple, still enjoying each other’s company. I would still rather spend a weekend away with him than do anything else.

I am not any kind of expert; I am just a woman who’s learned along the way, (sometimes the hard way), so I thought I’d share with you:

Top Ten Tips for Staying Happily Married

1) Divorce is not an option and is never discussed as such.

2) Learn to forgive, and overlook your spouse’s faults. Standing at the altar, staring into my handsome, kind, soon-to-be husband’s eyes, it was hard for me to imagine I’d ever have to do so. But I have, many times, and he’s done the same for me. We are imperfect humans and will mess up often. God has forgiven me of so much more… I try to remember that when I’m tempted to hold a grudge. Forgiving doesn’t mean he wasn’t wrong; it just means I choose to let it go.

3) Get on the same page with your finances, and let that be the “stay-out-of debt” page. Nothing sparks an argument like too much month and not enough money!

4) Never say, “That’s not my job.” I got tired of nagging my husband to take out the trash, so I started doing it myself, and found I enjoy the little walk outside. Now I rarely ask him. I was in his car and put gas in it – and occasionally mow the lawn. He cooks often, and helps straighten up the house when we have company. I find that a gentle request goes a lot farther than whining about how much I have to do or the fact that “Nobody helps out around here.” And yes, I learned that one the hard way!

5) Learn to see the flip side of your spouse’s faults. Let me explain: Your spouse has a good quality to go with each fault. It is likely these good qualities were some of the things that attracted you to him in the first place. For instance, I love Brian’s laid-back temperament. It balances my more high-strung one perfectly. But sometimes he doesn’t fix things right away or contact one of his design clients whose payment is delinquent. I feel myself getting annoyed, until I remember this lack of aggression is what attracted me to him in the first place! I love my man’s temperament, and wouldn’t trade it. (And, if left alone, he eventually takes care of the problems!)

6) Date each other. Ok, I admit… we don’t do it every week. We live so far out from town, and often one of us is taking one of the girls somewhere, so in the evenings, the last thing we want to do is go out. However, we do date regularly, and by regularly I mean when we feel the need, which is about twice a month. We don’t spend a lot of money. We do spend time together, laughing, talking about our interests, and trying not to talk about the kids. We were a couple before they came along, and we will be one when they leave the nest.

7) Do not bring up things that bother or annoy you about his family. Even if he agrees with you, he will take it as a personal insult. Focus on what you like about your in-laws, and remember they are human, too.

8) Put each other before the children. I remember when I was little, I told my mother I didn’t like something she cooked. She said, “We’re having it because Daddy likes it.” I never forgot this early lesson that Daddy was the most important person in the house to her.

9) Laugh… at yourself, at your mistakes, at your trials. We all know the verse “A merry heart does good, like medicine.” (Prov. 17:22) I have found this to be true, over and over. In our family, humor helps us enjoy good times and feel better in bad times. Brian and I still laugh together at some of the ridiculous financial mistakes we’ve made. We don’t insult each other, but we do joke about most things. I’d rather laugh than hold onto regrets!

10) When your spouse is down, lift him up. Whether he’s struggling with a particular sin, discouraged, or just out of sorts, be there to encourage him and spend extra time praying for him. He needs you!

~ by Kim, The Daisy Muse

Are You a Peeper/Chirper or a Hisser/Growler?

Habits for a Happy Husband, Habits for a Happy Mom, Habits for a Happy Wife, Habits for life, Homeless Habits 4 Responses »

May 252012

I love the warmer days of spring that melt into the hot days of summer. When I walk my Chihuahua in the morning quiet of my backyard (after the school buses have run and the noisy neighbors have retreated to the confines of their homes), I enjoy the blooming snowball bush that was my mother’s and all of the other beautiful flowers in the yard and green leaves on the trees.

When I stand out in the quiet, I notice it’s not so quiet after all.

The birds chirp and whistle and tweet and sing beautiful (almost deafening) melodies as they compete for God’s ear. One sounds like a cat and another sounds like a cell phone. (I really do call that one the cell phone bird). The squirrels chatter and bugs make all kinds of humming noises. Makes me want to stay outside forever—until it gets hot, at least.

But what about the kinds of creatures that don’t chirp and hum? What about the ones that hiss and growl? Now I must admit I am fascinated with aligators and I love to watch the show Swamp People. But I would not really want to be face to face with a gator.

One morning this spring, I saw a bird flying away with a snake.

(No, it wasn’t a Cobra.) But the chills ran down my spine just the same at the sight of that. And then I thanked the bird for carrying off that slithering creature. He was not welcome in my yard. I didn’t want to go back outside for the rest of the day.

Walking my neighborhood or just the simple act of getting the mail can be challenging sometimes because of the loose dogs that run around. All I have to hear is one itty bitty beginning of a growl and I’m straight for the door and into the safety of my house. The last thing I want is to be on the 6:00 pm news in my stretchy pants with no makeup on because I got mauled by a pit bull.

Have you noticed that in nature—for the most part—the things that chirp and peep and make light humming noises are usually harmless? And the things that hiss and growl and buzz loudly are not so harmless. Some things only make those noises because they feel defensive but most of them could tear you up, eat you to pieces, or scratch your eyes out if the mood struck. Many of them, like my snake enemy, very well could end your life.

So are you a chirper/peeper or a hisser/growler?

I’ll confess, in the morning, I’m usually a growler. I have been known to hiss at people before I’ve had my coffee. But I am trying to get into the habit of being a chirper/peeper all day…even in the mornings. I don’t want to gain the reputation for being the kind of person that could cause your fur to fly.

Psalm 100:1-2 says: Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

I think that’s a good habit to get into especially this time of year. If we practice chirping and peeping and spreading joy to all of those around us, maybe by daylight savings time when we start having shorter days and lose some of our beloved sunshine, we’ll be new creatures!

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