How to Replace Old Thoughts with New Thoughts

 Habits for a Happy Mom, Habits for a Happy Wife, Habits for life, Heavenly Habits, Housekeeping Habits  4 Responses »
Jan 152013
 

It’s so easy to compare ourselves with others.  I think we do it daily, in many different ways, without even thinking about it!

The first thing that comes to mind when I think about comparing myself to others is my looks.  It’s almost impossible not to see pictures of celebrities on a daily basis… whether one wants to or not.  ”I should eat salad for every meal so I have a figure like (fill in the celebrity you think is most beautiful).”  I firmly believe in being the best YOU you can be, but comparing ourselves with a “Photoshopped” image of someone who gets paid to be beautiful is never a good idea.  (For fun, I sometimes Google “celebrities without makeup.”  Now THAT comparison will make you feel a lot better about yourself!)

Another area in which I tend to compare myself is my home.  Whether it comes to the way it’s decorated or the level of cleanliness, I can always find someone who does it more perfectly than me.  Maybe she has more money and can afford a cleaning lady or high end decor.  Maybe she’s just better at doing it herself.  Whatever the case, there is usually one person I know whose house I wish mine looked like.  Magazines, HGTV, and even Pinterest can encourage this kind of thinking.  Notice this example:

Exhibit A:  My breakfast table, the day I bought it at a yard sale, dressed it up, and took it’s picture:

This is the picture I would use if I posted my table on Pinterest.

Exhibit B (real life):   My table after breakfast this morning:

table

Doesn’t look so good, does it?  When I compare myself to others, what I’m really doing is comparing their best (and often photo-staged) material to my worst… a dangerous practice which can breed jealousy, discontentment, and unhappiness.  When I was younger, this used to discourage me.

Then I learned a secret… you see, I really do enjoy looking at beautiful things.. homes, gardens, clothes, you name it!  I learned not to compare myself or my possessions, but to strive for excellence while remaining content with what I have.

  • Old thought:  ”Joanne has such a nice living room.  –Sigh– Mine will never look that good.”
  • New thought:  ”I love Joanne’s living room… what a great idea to paint the inside of her built-ins a different color… let me discuss that with Hubby and possibly put that on our future projects list.”
  • Old thought:  ”Those clothes look so much better on that model than they’d ever look on me.  I’m just an out-of-shape mess!”
  • New thought:  ”I love my new Pilates DVD… it’s helping me be as fit as I can be.  I may never look like a model, but I’ll be healthy and feel better.”

I still need work on this issue in several areas, but I’m constantly reminding myself to strive to be the best me, for God’s glory–not a “Photoshopped” imitation intended to impress others.

What areas do you still compare yourself, giving yourself the disadvantage?  In what areas do you give yourself a break, striving for the best you, not perfection?

~written by Kim, The Daisy Muse

Time. . .

 Habits for a Happy Wife, Habits for Happy Kids, Habits for life, Housekeeping Habits, Technology Habits  4 Responses »
Jan 032013
 

 . . .it is precious, it goes by way too quickly, and we only have a certain amount of it.  How am I using my time?  Am I using it to glorify God?  {So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. I Corinthians 10:31} A few months ago, I was quite convicted by the way I use my time. . .especially how much time I spent on the internet.  I wouldn’t have said I was “addicted” to Facebook, but I would catch myself sitting down to the computer “just for a minute,” to see what was going on. I also read quite a few helpful blogs. . .some spiritual, some on homemaking, some on photography, some that belong to friends; and I also love Pinterest.  None of these things in themselves are bad, but I was not using them in the best way.

 About that same time, I watched a web seminar on life balance.  The teacher showed us her daily schedule.  It was amazing!!  I will never be as detailed as she, but I knew it was time for me to make a schedule of my own.  One thing she mentioned that stood out to me was that when we get distracted from what we are working on, it takes about 10 minutes for us to really get back into the task we left unfinished.  For me personally, I know that I would waste precious minutes deciding what I should do next, and if I couldn’t decide fast enough, I would sit down to check FB or something while I thought about it. . .well, I’m sure you know where that usually leads. . .30 minutes later, I’m caught up on everyone else’s life, but still hadn’t decided what I needed to do next with mine!

 This has been SUCH a huge help to me over the last weeks!!  There are times I am not able to stick to the schedule, but when I can, it helps me keep my mind on track.  One advantage to all this is that I don’t have to feel guilty about my computer time, because it is in the schedule!!  I have three times a day that I can sit down, and enjoy catching up with the world.  At one point in my struggle, I thought maybe I should cut out FB or some of the blogs I read, but I know it is important for me as a Mom to continue growing and learning from others, and it is wonderful to feel like I can connect to far away friends and family members that I can’t see in person.

I was also careful to schedule in times when I can play or read with the boys.  Maybe this isn’t a struggle for you, but I am such a task-oriented person, that I can forget to slow down and spend fun time with my kids.  Also, I purposely put in time for reading for myself!  No kids books allowed during this time !  At one time, I was months behind on the magazine subscriptions I had been given, and I was having a terrible time reading any books.  There are so many books out there that are helpful to me in this stage of life, that I felt it was very important to schedule reading time in.  Plus, I needed a “down time” for me.

 To help me with the “what chore to tackle next” dilemma, I scheduled each  day to have its own task.  That has been a HUGE time saver for me!  I no longer have to think about which area of the house needs help the most; each area has its own day.  Adding 15 minutes of  deep cleaning and organizing to each day has been a life changer for me.  I will have a difficult time completing spring/fall cleaning for my foreseeable future, but doing a little at a time is SOOO helpful!  It doesn’t seem like much time, but it is amazing what you can accomplish in it!

  Another resource that has been a huge help to me over the last few years is a book called Shopping for Time by Carolyn Mahaney.  In it, she encourages her readers to start their day early. . .as in around 5 am early.  As I read that, I thought I could NEVER get up before 6:30 or so.  As you can see by the picture below that I took some time ago, my day used to start at 6:30.  Well, when my husband’s job changed a few months ago, he started leaving for work by 5:45.  If I were going to be up to kiss him goodbye, my day needed to start at 5:30.  It has been one of the best habits I have ever formed in my life.  My children do not get up until 7:30 or 8; so I have quite a bit of time in the mornings to get my day started off right!  Now, don’t get me wrong, getting up that early is NOT easy; it is a daily struggle; but it is a struggle that is worth it.

 One thing to remember is to be careful not to make the schedule into THE SCHEDULE!!!!!  Too often, we search for another list or formula  to follow, rather than depending on God’s grace to help us do what He calls us to do.  Having the best-laid schedule in the world will not help me in the long run if I depend on my own strength to accomplish the tasks before me, and then become prideful at all that “I” finished that day.  This is not intended to be something that everyone in the house has to follow to the exact second, making everyone within the house completely miserable {no, son, I cannot help you go potty right now; I will in 11 more minutes when my 15 minutes of organizing is done}.  Please don’t do that to your family :)   This is to be a flexible guide that will help us use our time in a way that will bring the most glory to God.

 Now, go make out a schedule, and tell me how it works for you!

  ~ Written by Amy @ JerAmy

How to Plan Individual Time with Multiple Ages

 Habits for a Happy Mom, Habits for a Happy Wife, Habits for Happy Kids  3 Responses »
Dec 312012
 

Preschoolers, middle ones and teenagers. That’s where we are. With such a mix of ages it’s sometimes hard to have individual time with each child. Just how do you make a habit of planning individual time with each child? Today I share a few of the ways my husband and I accomplish that. The habits that help.

I don’t suggest that you incorporate all of these into your family life unless you want to. Rather pick one or two and add in what appeals to you, what seems easy.

Let it happen naturally

Lately I’ve found individual time is happening with the natural flow of the day. My youngest ones rise early, usually one at a time. My older ones stay up later and we enjoy some time after the littlest ones are tucked in. Early morning discussions about favorite cars and trucks with my youngest one. Late night talks with my eldest girl. Bedside ponderings with my littlest girl at sunset. This is not anything I’ve planned for, it’s just how the day happens. Right now. As each of my children grow and change, I’ll likely be adjusting and making changes to how the natural individual times happen.

How Morning Room Time Builds Important Skills for Later Morning Room Time

This particular habit is one that helped me teach individual math lessons at the same time little ones were learning in room time. It’s exactly how I was able to be in two places at once. My husband and I set aside time to make room time CDs – recording our voices – for the children to listen to. We also included fun Bible songs, the ABCs, basic manners and more. A round up on all I’ve shared is included in How Morning Time Builds Learning Skills for Later.

Go to the Store Buddy

Kendra gives a perfect example of this in her post, Divide and Conquer. Children take turns going to the store, the library, running errands. Sometimes we even use a coupon and go to an inexpensive restaurant. Those drives around town are often the time my child and I have the deepest, most important talks.

Afternoon Quiet Time at Habits for a Happy Home Afternoon Quiet Time

Another long-time habit that is often the anchor of our days more than anything else is afternoon quiet time. The beauty of afternoon time is that a child can spend some individual time with a parent. This is when a child and I have practiced reading, worked on a project, painted toenails or simply sat quietly. Built in individual time. Five weekdays – five children!

Plus, when a younger sibling is napping, it’s simple to scoop up some reading and snuggle time on the couch.

Cooking and Baking

Time to toss the ingredients in the slow cooker? Call a child to help you stir it in. Need to rinse some dishes? I have one that loves the kitchen sink squirter. He can stand on the stool and rinse dishes and we can chat about the birds we see through the window. Invite your preschooler to be part of the action!

laundry Other Household Tasks

Folding laundry together, teaching individual children how to load a dishwasher and even afternoons of car repair can be opportunities for individual time. Don’t discount these times. The simple truths my children and I have talked about over a huge pile of laundry amaze me!

Exercise

Sometimes one of the children will accompany me or suggest we talk a walk in the neighborhood. What great talks we’ve had on our walks! *Psst* This is also a fabulous way to get in a little quiet time with my husband – late night, neighborhood walks. And Angie shares how she starts her homeschool day outside in I Finally Did it! (this would be an easy way to fit in some individual time!)

bedtime reading Staggered Bedtimes

Our youngest two children go to bed at the same time each night. Hodgepodgedad tucks in one and I tuck in the other. The questions asked, the family classic quotes we’ve gathered at tucking in time! Next, our Middle Girl is tucked in. She and I sometimes play King’s Corners, draw a picture together or scan a Where’s Waldo. Then my husband and I spend time with our eldest two children. Kendra has a wonderful post on Bedtime Stories.

Ministering

Making cards, delivering a meal, making a gift. Not only can you have a little bit of individual time in creating something to bless someone else, but there is sometimes individual time to be had when making the drive over to deliver a gift.

In summary, planning individual time with each of your children can be a challenge. However, it can be much simpler when you look at the natural flow of your days. Also, be sure to simply leave room for spontaneity. But plan, so you can feel free to be spontaneous. Kerri explains this beautifully in her Planning to Be Spontaneous series. Basically, plan and have resources in place so that when opportunity arises you can take advantage of it.

More

Be sure to visit all the other ‘how to’ planning posts shared by iHomeschool Network bloggers!

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‘Tis the Season to Be…

 Habits for a Happy Mom, Habits for a Happy Wife, Habits for life, Heavenly Habits, Holiday Habits  No Responses »
Dec 132012
 

…Jolly…Ready for fun…Busy…Crazy…Worn out…

Or ’tis it the season to be Blessed…Thankful…Loved…Cherished…?

With the holidays upon us, many of us face crazy days of shopping, maybe a little traveling to see family members, and more than likely church events, musicals and plays to fill our evenings. The month of December can be over and done with before you even have time to get your tree decorated and the wrapped gifts placed under it.

Many families struggle at this time of year because they don’t have the resources to provide their loved ones with presents under the tree or a buffet of seasonal foods. They may not be able to travel to visit family members far away or may be estranged from certain family members. This can be a tough time of year for those who have lost loved ones in recent days or years, as my family has.

For many years, the Holidays have been my most dreaded time of the year for a variety of reasons. But I have recently begun to feel change occurring in me. I’m actually looking forward to the year end happenings.

When we pause and remember the reason for the holidays, we open our hearts and minds to receive the best gift of all. Jesus came so that we would have life and have it abundantly. He is more precious than silver and gold so He is more of a gift than anything that is wrapped under the tree. The bread and wine/juice we partake of in communion is more delicious than any Holiday ham or turkey and more satisfying than Grandma’s apple pie or Aunt Mary’s chocolate cake and more thirst-quenching than the latest trendy hot tea. He is closer than a brother and time spent with Him makes even the best family gathering seem like a day spent in jail.

When you find yourself dreading the next day in this season because you’ve got too much to do to get ready for your next holiday event, remember the babe that was born in Bethlehem so long ago and how He gave His all to others while here on earth.

But don’t forget…even He needed a break every now and then. Even He slipped away from the crowd and had to say “No” to the demands of the people. He took time to rest and to pray. He kept His relationship with His Father first and foremost in His life.

Peace be to you during this holiday season. Keep things simple and remember that you don’t have to do it all and it doesn’t all have to be done.

Sherri Wilson Johnson is an Inspirational Romance novelist, a speaker, social media junkie, and a former homeschooling mom who loves to share God with others, while sharing her life experiences with them. She is a member of the ACFW and a graduate from the Christian Writers Guild writing course. She lives in Georgia with her husband and two children. She loves to dream of romantic places and romance in general–good, clean romance, that is. She is passionate about purity and sexual integrity. Sherri is the author of To Dance Once More (OakTara) and Song of the Meadowlark (OakTara). She is polishing her novels To Laugh Once More and After the Raging Storm. http://sherriwilsonjohnson.com/

Candles and Nativity photos: http://www.kaylajohnsonphotography.com/

Hello – Introducing Amy

 Habits for a Happy Husband, Habits for a Happy Wife, Homeless Habits  2 Responses »
Dec 062012
 

Today we introduce our newest author, Amy! Amy and husband Jeremy have been married 7 years and have 2 small boys. She enjoys chronicling the simple adventures of their little family through photos, and is also an expert at making a beautiful home out of yard sale/flea market furniture! You can visit Amy at her blog, JerAmy ~ Kim A.

Well, hello there!  I am so very happy to be joining Habits for a Happy Home!  I look forward to our adventures together.

Since my husband and I did not meet and marry until our late twenties, being a wife and mom is a gift I do not take for granted.  I thank our God daily for His graciousness in giving me this beautiful life that I live.  Life definitely comes with its challenges and changes {which we have seen quite a bit of over the last year;} but I am so thankful that we have a Heavenly Father who delights to give us good things, even in the middle of  changing circumstances.  My little family is definitely one of those good gifts.

Here we are!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  ~ Written by Amy @ JerAmy

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