written by Sherri » Habits for a Happy Home

Inspiring Purity in Your Teens

May 162013

As homeschool parents, one of the things we tend to do well is protect our kids. We watch over them and guide them along life’s journey fervently. It is of utmost importance to us to protect the purity of our children. We want to spare our kids from some of the things we experienced and participated in as teens, and we want to shield them from the deceptions that are in the media. This is not to create a bubble around them so that they can’t relate to the world, but to insulate them with truth so that they may be able to withstand pressure from their peers and the world.

I am a columnist for Choose Now Ministries. I just finished a series on inspiring purity in our teens and I’d like to share a little of that series with you. This part of the series I am going to share was written to parents, like you, who want to help guide their children on the path of purity, whether homeschooled or not.

Using the word PURITY as an acronym, I outlined steps parents could take to accomplish their goals.

Let’s start with P. It’s a privilege we have as parents to offer protection to our teens. Not protection in the way the world means it. I’m not talking about birth control or STD prevention here. I’m talking about the wonderful blessing we have as parents to act as God acts with us.

It says in Psalm 91:4, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”

P is for the privilege we have to offer protection.

There are a lot of words that start with U. You might be surprised at how many there are. I spent some time in my thesaurus looking for the perfect word to focus on for the letter U in Purity and was unable to narrow it down to one. So I focused on six U words/concepts.

Unified – Umbrella – Unending love and support – U-turns — User-friendly – Unlock the potential!

Find out more about the six U’s of inspiring purity.

We can’t stop our teens from going down the wrong path. But we sure can put up road blocks, detour signs, caution lights, and bright beacons to light the correct way. This is a lot of work but not near the work it will be to go back and try to fix things once the damage has been done. It’s our responsibility as parents to inspire purity in our teens.

R is for responsibility. . .to inspire purity. (Read More)

As parents, we must retain sexual integrity (and integrity in general) so we can help our teens live lives full of it. I is for integrity! Here are three tips for maintaining sexual integrity.

You may not know it but spending time with your teens can change their lives. Your values rub off on them the more you spend quality time together. You influence them to live upright lives. This time enhances your life, too, because you feel connected to them like you did when they were little.

T is for treasuring time with your teens. It is a step to inspiring purity in them.

Whether you know it or not you really and truly are the most important person in your teen’s life aside from God—if you let yourself be. “Y” is for You, Of Course!

You can have an impact on the life of your teens and make a difference in the way they view the world around them and how they view themselves. I want to encourage you to press on toward the goal, like Paul spoke of in Philippians 3:14. It’s hard work but when you embrace your parenting days with everything you’ve got and you parent purposefully, you will plant seeds that will grow and become firmly planted—seeds that are not easily uprooted.

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How to Be Your Husband’s Wife and Not His Mommy

Habits for a Happy Dad, Habits for a Happy Husband, Habits for a Happy Mom, Habits for a Happy Wife, Habits for life 8 Responses »

Apr 092013

As homeschool moms, we’re used to taking charge of our households during the day, managing the kids, their schooling, the pets, and the telephone all while juggling a laundry basket on one hip and a laptop on the other. When we finally sit down, we’ve got a school book in one hand and the Bible in the other—trying to improve as a teacher and attempting to live out the walk of the Proverbs 31 woman all at the same time.

Some days, we’re rockin’ and a’rollin’ like we’ve got super powers and other days we’re hiding in the bathroom hoping no one remembers that there’s supposed to be a wife or mommy in the house. Too often, we try to do it all or at least act like we think we can and inadvertently we get things around the home out of balance. We become of the boss of everything and everyone and then no one wants to help us when we need them.

One relationship that often gets out of whack nearly as easy as your back—and becomes twisted like your neck when there’s a crick in it—is the relationship you have with your husband. When you spend all day bossing (I mean, directing) kids around, it’s kind of easy to do the same thing to your husband when he comes home at the end of the day. It’s sometimes second nature to tell him to pick up his socks or to put his dishes in the sink, just like we’d tell our children. Then when we all of a sudden feel like mommy to not only the kids but to our husbands, as well, we start to blame him and wonder where in the world our manly man we married all those years ago went. We wonder why he won’t step up and be a man.

Just like when your immunity is low and you’re exposed to toxins and viruses and bacteria, forgetting the God-ordained order of your household will cause serious illness in your family and maybe even in the future generations. The best cure for this “disease” and the way to have a happy home is to remember that while we cannot change our pasts, we can direct the future and make a difference. We can make sure our households reflect the Biblical model.

How can you show your husband that he’s “the man” and not your child? How can you make sure you’re not showing your kids (and others) that you’re your husband’s mommy and not his wife?

Respect your husband. Keep your words and attitudes toward him and about him kind, gentle, and loving. Avoid speaking in harsh tones and being condescending to him.

Encourage your husband. Proverbs 16:24 says: “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Tell him how thankful you are that he works hard to provide for your family. Make special time with him without the kids. He wants to feel like a “grown-up” with you. Although words of affirmation from co-workers and bosses mean a lot to a man, those encouraging words spoken by his wife are priceless to him.

Be his helpmeet. Sometimes we do things for our husbands because we think we can do them better than they can. And then we complain because we have to do everything ourselves. Be a helpmeet without doing everything for him. He is a man, after all. He is quite capable of doing things.

Stop complaining. If you complain that you have no help around the house or complain about how he does things, it makes him want to help you less. If he doesn’t know how to do what you need him to do but he desires to help you, then show him how. Tell him how thankful you are when he helps you with the kids and around the house.

Kids will do things halfway so you won’t ask them to do them again. Is your husband doing things halfway? Maybe he’s trying to get out of helping. Maybe he feels like you’ll go behind him and redo it. Let him fold the towels his own way. Believe it or not, there really isn’t a right way to do it. Let him see that his way is okay too and that you appreciate his efforts. Make sure he knows how valuable his help is to you.

Children naturally want to rebel against what mommy tells them to do. They want to play first and do chores or schoolwork last. If you treat your husband like your child he will not want to help you. He will not want to be with you. He will find something to do elsewhere. He won’t feel like a knight in shining armor or superman.

A word of caution: Check your motives before you lavish your husband with words of affirmation and make sure that you are not showing him false respect and pouring empty words out on him just so he will do things for you. Philippians 2:3-4 says: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.Remember a marriage and a family is a team.

As the mother of a girl, I want to exemplify what a Biblical woman is like and I want to show her how she should treat her husband. As the mother of a boy, I need to show him how he should want to be treated. I do not want my daughter to take charge of her husband like she will her children. I do not want my son to buckle underneath the badgering of a strong-willed woman. I want him to be respected in his household by his wife and his children. I want my daughter to be blessed with a man who knows he’s the one who provides for and protects her.

As helpmeets and wives we help our husbands tremendously when we don’t treat them as children. When they know they have a wife who loves them, respects them, honors them, and desires their leadership in their lives, men exemplify God’s original design for them.

Photos: Wedding photo and couple hugging photo courtesy of http://www.kaylajohnsonphotography.com

Milkmaid: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1380931

The Best Laid Plans

Habits for a Happy Mom, Homeschool Habits 2 Responses »

Mar 072013

In the classic Of Mice and Men, George and Lennie, two migrant farm workers, dream of “living off the fat of the land”. They dream of buying a farm of their own, living off the land’s resources, and being completely self-sufficient. George doesn’t want to take orders from anyone ever again. He is smart and capable.

Lennie’s big dream is to own rabbits. A large and clumsy man, he is a bit mentally challenged and doesn’t know his own strength. His inability to control his strength and his reaction to fear causes great trouble for the pair.

In the end, the plans George has for their future do not turn out like he desires because Lennie isn’t capable of sticking to the them. Because of Lennie’s mistakes, his (Lennie) life ends and he does not get to be a part of their big dream.

Although our homeschools hopefully will not end in tragedy like Of Mice and Men, they often mimic the line from To a Mouse by Robert Burns, from where the book gets its title, which states:

“The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men

Gang aft agley.”

(The best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry).

By my calculations, there’s about sixty days left in this homeschooling year. You’re almost at Spring Break time and then the end of May will be here before you know it. One more year of homeschooling under your belt. Ahhh, such a feeling of satisfaction. Right?

For some of you, this may not be the time of year that you feel satisfaction. In fact, you may be panicking because you’re only a little over halfway done with your curriculum. Your 180-day plan has somehow fallen by the wayside.

Job 17:11-12 – My days have passed, my plans are shattered. Yet the desires of my heart turn night into day; in the face of the darkness light is near.

Why do plans go awry?

Usually plans go awry because we get distracted. This may be by things beyond our control or things that we simply allow to take precedence in our lives.

While it is important to make a plan and try to stick with it so you can reach your goal and enjoy a leisurely summer break, it’s equally as important (and emotionally healthy) to be flexible.

If you’ve got sixty days left this year but you’ve got ninety days of schoolwork, this would be the time to readjust the plan. Scrap what isn’t working. Tighten the belt where it needs to be tightened. Dig deep into your books and see what can be condensed a little. It’s also the time to admit that some subjects may need to be worked on over the summer.

Plans, like those of an architect, are not set in stone. They are written on paper or entered into a computer program. So the good news is: plans can be adapted to fit where you are right now.

Psalm 20:4 — May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

The most vital thing to remember this time of year is that you are not a failure as a homeschooling parent. Resist the urge to compare yourself to other moms. Take just a little bit of time to sip a nice hot cup of something delicious and mull over your planner. I bet you’ll be amazed at how you can adjust things and keep your plans from going awry!

Sherri Wilson Johnson is an Inspirational Romance novelist, a speaker, social media junkie, and a former homeschooling mom who loves to share God with others, while sharing her life experiences with them. She is a member of the ACFW and a graduate from the Christian Writers Guild writing course. She lives in Georgia with her husband and two children. She loves to dream of romantic places and romance in general–good, clean romance, that is. She is passionate about purity and sexual integrity. Sherri is the author of To Dance Once More (OakTara) and Song of the Meadowlark (OakTara). She is polishing her novels To Laugh Once More and After the Raging Storm.

http://sherriwilsonjohnson.com/

Photo credits: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1091624, http://www.sxc.hu/photo/967756,

Unit Studies by Amanda Bennett: Your Passport to Learning Adventures!

Every Day Can’t Be Like a Day at Disney

Habits for life 2 Responses »

Feb 142013

I haven’t been to Disney since 1997 so I’m not exactly the expert on it. But I do know that when you’re there, your mind forgets about most of your troubles at home. I feel that way when I go to the amusement park, Six Flags. I turn into a crazy kind of woman-child, bursting with exhilaration and running to the next roller coaster. I scream and laugh uncontrollably when I’m riding them. I can’t explain it. But I feel free as a bird when I’m at an amusement park. I’m sure many of you feel the same way because that’s what drives you to go back to the same place year after year. I’ve seen tons of pictures of families enjoying themselves at these places and it’s obvious that something comes alive in you when you’re allowed to relax and be a kid again.

Some of you may not care a stitch about amusement parks (as my family doesn’t) but there’s something in your life that causes you to feel that way. Maybe it’s the beach, which is really higher on my list than amusement parks, or maybe it’s the mountains, fishing, camping, hunting, singing, playing a musical instrument, etc. You get the point.

Well, every day can’t be like a day at Disney or at your favorite pastime location.

Yes, we are going to face days where we’re exhausted, sick, lonely, overwhelmed, and we have to drag our feet just to move one step forward. Some days we may be able to do little more than stare out the window at the bare trees and brown grass (or the snow if you have winters like that). Some days just breathing takes effort. When you add the challenges of raising kids and homeschooling them, sometimes it’s almost unbearable.

But just because every day can’t be like a day away from the house and away from reality doesn’t mean that we can’t have joy. Knowing how special those “out of the ordinary” days are is exactly what can add a little spring into your step—especially in mid-winter. And especially post-Holiday when gatherings and gifts come to a halt. It’s kind of like having your favorite dessert every day of the year. After a while, it’s not so special anymore. You’re like, “Do I have to eat that again?” But when you can only enjoy that treat on occasion, it’s all the better.

The Lord desires for us to have joy. He wants us to have that deep-down, overpowering, awe-inspiring, soul-filling kind of joy. A joy that doesn’t come from any material possession or from any event or location. He wants us to fill the way those things make us feel EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Psalm 16:11 says “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

He gives us the joy to make it through the days that wear us out and drain every ounce of energy and patience from our bodies. He tells us that every day with Him is sweeter than the day before. In fact, every day with Jesus is sweeter than any day at Disney or anywhere else.

Isn’t that the most awesome news you could ever receive?

Psalm 28:7 says “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.”

I hope that if you’re having one of those days (weeks, months, years) where you can barely function—where the call God has put on your life seems to be too much, where you’re convinced that what He has called you to must have been meant for someone else—that you will lean on Him. Trust Him to pull you through this wintery time in your life and to give you back the joy you so long for.

Psalm 20:5 says “May we shout for joy over your victory and lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests.”

I pray that for all of you today!

Images: Sherri Wilson Johnson

Girl jumping: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1195767

Hearts and Trees: Art, Handicrafts and Nature Study for your Homeschool

Habits for a Healthy Home

Habits for life, Housekeeping Habits 2 Responses »

Jan 102013

This time of year seems to bring about lots of fun, family, gatherings, and…sickness! Everywhere we turn we hear of someone who’s sick with the flu or with a stomach virus or strep. You want to “greet one another with a holy kiss” as the Bible says but honestly, you find yourself holding your breath when you talk to someone and offering your elbow instead of your hand in greeting.

You hear on TV or in the doctor’s office about the importance of using antibacterial wipes and hand sanitizers. Then you hear on the news that germs have become resistant to the antibacterial solutions so we’re actually worse off with them than without them. What’s a person to believe? Well, I suppose some sicknesses are simply unavoidable but there are precautions we can take to attempt to avoid these modern-day plagues.

How do we stay healthy this time of year? Let us not forsake the washing of the hands.

Hand-washing is by far a tried-and-true method for preventing the spread of disease. You don’t need antibacterial solutions or any magic potions. Water will wash away those little boogers if you hold your hands underneath it long enough. The warmer the water, the better.

BUT if you have a house full of kids who aren’t as germ conscious as you, you might be undoing your good intentions as soon as you touch the sink knobs, hand towels, and doorknobs. Some people don’t actually wash their hands after using the bathroom but will use the hand towel to dry their hands from—well, we just won’t go there.

It is important to encourage your family members to wash their hands after using the bathroom and after having their hands in their mouths while eating. Little ones can be taught to sing their ABCs all the way through while washing their hands. That’s a good amount of time to wash away the germs.

Teach your family members to turn the water on with their pinkies or palms. While soaping up their hands, soap up the sink knobs too. They can then gently splash some water over them and rinse their hands. When they turn off the water, the knobs are clean—or at least cleaner than they were when they started.

If you have little ones, using disposable hand towels or kitchen paper towels will work wonders too! When someone in my house is sick, which isn’t often, I make sure that he/she uses a separate hand towel.

I have caught (on more than one occasion) my kids using the kitchen hand towel to wipe their fingers off when they’ve gotten food on their fingers. Or they will lick their fingers and then wipe their hands on the hand towel. World War III just about breaks out when I catch them doing that.

Now I do use antibacterial wipes around the house on doorknobs, kitchen cabinet handles, the refrigerator and microwave handles, bathroom handles (sink, toilet, and shower). I also use them on the remote control, which we discovered was a culprit for spreading nasty germs. And I have been known to use them on my poor little Chihuahua, Posey. Truthfully! We realized that we’re all picking her up and kissing her on her head and neck and petting her. If someone in the house is contaminated and touches her or kisses her, then the next person to touch her (usually me) is going to pick up those germs.

Another sickness prevention is instructing your family members to cough or sneeze inside their shirts. Some people say to cough or sneeze into your elbow. But if you have time, open the collar of your shirt and sneeze in there. Germs can’t escape as easily.

Also make sure to replace toothbrushes or wash them on the sanitize cycle of the dishwasher. Get rid of them after you’re sick or sanitize if you want to keep sickness away. And if you have a houseful of little ones, be sure that they each know which toothbrush is theirs and how important it is not to handle their siblings’ toothbrushes. Wash off the tube of toothpaste too or give each child his/her own tube.

Now when you’re in public, there’s one bit of advice you’ll hear on the news, in commercials, and at the doctor’s office that is dead-on.

Keep your hands away from your face.

If you do not touch your eyes, nose or mouth when you are away from home, you’ve got a better chance at staying pretty healthy. And do not eat or drink after others. I know it may be tempting when you’re at family or church gathering and there’s all sorts of foods and drinks to try. But resist the germ devil!

So there’s no need for a HAZMAT suit in the winter. Just a little germ consciousness. Stay healthy!

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